How to Craft Your Conflict Mission Statement

How many hours do you think you've lost worrying about conflict? How many stories have you invented about how a hard conversation would go? Have you ever been given a tool that worked for starting to overcome your fear(s) of conflict?

You need a conflict mission statement.

Here's how to craft one in 3 steps:

1. Tell yourself you can show up the way you want to, despite what the other person does. So often I hear people say, "...but, I don't know what THEY are going to do." Shift this to something like:

• “I will show kindness in this conversation.”

• “I will try to be understanding in this conversation.”

• “I will be a good listener in this conversation.”

• “I will practice patience in this conversation.”

2. Ask yourself what you want from the difficult conversation. I know your answer is likely, "I want it to be over." You can shift that to something like:

• “When it's over I will have the information I need.”

• “When it's over, I will have clarity about this relationship.”

• “When it is over, I will no longer be stuck.”

• “When it's over, I will be able to move forward.”

These statements don't neglect your need for it to be over, and they also give you some motivation.

3. Combine the two steps above to arrive at your mission statement. This will keep you focused and help your mind from forecasting the worst possible outcome.

It goes something like this: “I will try to show compassion during this conversation. When it's over, I will understand this person better.” When your mind says, “I just want this to be over, we are just going to go around in circles and talk about the same things over and over,” you have your mission statement to motivate yourself toward what you want to see happen.

Do you think you can try this?